9 Feb
Posted in: Life
By    8 Comments

What is Right vs. What is Best

My husband and I were having a conversation the other day. It was in reference to a difference in opinion between he and a friend, and he kept saying, “I’m not sure that’s the right way to go about it.” I reminded him that in this circumstance neither he nor his friend were right or wrong – that they were both trying to make a good decision based on their values.  Both of their ideas were good ideas, and that what he was trying to figure out is which way was best, not right.

He sincerely asked, “well what’s the difference?”

I’ve been thinking about this ever since our conversation. My husband is more of a black and white thinker than I am. And while I absolutely believe that there are times when there is a right or wrong answer (I am not referencing issues of morality or justice here), most of the time our decisions are not between something good and bad, but something bad, good, better or best. The best car for our family with two young children and my needing to regularly transport a decent amount of photo equipment is not going to be the same as the kid down the road heading off to college who is trying to pay insurance with her part time job on the weekends. Or how you choose to spend your free time on a weekend is often a choice between a right or wrong activity, but how to best rest or recharge or tackle home projects or _______ (whatever it is you want/need to accomplish on your time off).

I find so many of our disagreements about what we think are right and wrong are really disagreements about better and best. And this distinction makes a huge difference in how we approach those who disagree with us. If we are using a right/wrong dichotomy than we are then saying that anyone who chooses differently than us is wrong. If we approach problems instead with a bad/good/best angle, we can see that our values are simply different from people choosing differently from us and that is ok. Someone who values freedom and flexibility will approach a situation differently than someone who values structure and stability.

Do you find yourself thinking of things from a right/wrong perspective when really what you’re working through is better looked at as a better/best situation? How does that change your approach to your problem? How does that change your views of someone choosing differently than you?


  • also, glad to see you back writing your thoughts :-)

  • Thank you for sharing this point of view. The next time I’m in a situation where there is a difference of opinion or a decision to be made, I will most definitely remind myself of your shared post.
    Thank you.

  • Greetings, I believe your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in Internet Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, wonderful site!

  • I used to be able to find good advice from your

  • I seldom comment, but after browsing a few of the comments here What is Right vs.
    What is Best | Simple | Modern | Life. I actually do have a couple of
    questions for you if it’s okay. Could it be just
    me or do some of these remarks appear like they are left by brain dead visitors?
    😛 And, if you are posting at other places, I would like
    to follow you. Could you list of every one of all your social
    community pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page
    or twitter feed?

    my blog telecharger teamviewer, Willard,

  • По моему мнению Вы ошибаетесь. Давайте обсудим это.

    Пишите мне в PM, поговорим.

    Моя суперская статья; заработок в интернете

  • Appreciate this post. Will try it out.

    Feel free to visit my web-site; social landings (Marla)

  • Hello, I enjoy reading all of your article post. I like to write a little comment to support you.

    Look into my page – clash of clans hack no survey mac

So, what do you think?